Waiting

That's what I'll be doing for another month or so. I got waitlisted for business school. I guess that is an accomplishment, since it's one of the top business schools in the country and I've only been working for 7-8 months haha. Well we'll see. But I may be getting promoted to a supervisor position at work! And if that happens, then I would actually like to stay at work for another year before school.

On to weight issues: it was my Dad's bday on Friday, so we went out to dinner that night. I ate well, not an awful binge like I usually do. I was pretty good on Saturday too. Today I did my Sunday water fast (I'm gonna try to make that a new "thing") and I hope to be 143.x tomorrow. If I'm super good again during the week, I should hit 139 on Thursday. I'm making Thursday morning my weekly weight-in day instead of Friday, because we have a management happy hour on Thursday now that I want to go to. I need to make more friends at work, and I'll probably have a beer or two and grab a handful of nachos while I'm there. Bad, I know, but I don't want to restrict so much that I freak out again and gain my weight back. My goal is to be 120lbs by the end of May. I gots high hopes! Wishing everything's great with the rest of you awesome people :)

XO.

Ok maybe next Friday..

But I'm at 143.4 right now, which is the lowest I've been in about 2 months I think. That's so ridiculous. That's why I don't believe it fasting too much, because you'll just gain it all back, but much faster. I also don't believe in exercising when starving. On Wednesday night, I run for 4 miles and burned 500 calories, eat the same way I did all week, even went to the bathroom and pooped out some ounces, and even still I only lost 1 lb the following morning. When just eating the same way, without pooping or exercising, I would lose the same amount of weight. Why stress myself out with exercise if it doesn't even get me anywhere?!

Ugh, so I ate some nachos tonight and had 2 beers at happy hour with my coworkers. My bad. A good breakfast and lunch though. Going hula hoop and watch TV now. Btw, I hear if I was accepted to business school tomorrow...my tummy hurts! Ah God I don't want to think about it. I'll add in some jumping jacks too.

XO.

Fasting day

Just water, seltzer, and 30 year old port (for a classy effect)! No really, I napped the port from my parents' home. For the rest of the week I'm gonna tackle the Russian gymnast diet, slightly modified.

• Breakfast = 1 cup 40 cal orange juice w/ some liquid multivitamin and seltzer
• Lunch = 1 apple and 1 superfood pack (cacao nibs, pistachios, mulberries, and goji berries)
• Dinner = raw greens drizzled w/ olive oil
• Dessert = tea or port

139, here I come. XO.

139 by Friday. I promise myself. I'm so sick of just chilling in the 140s. Ready, set, go!

Another bad weekend. But another pound down this week. And that's with no exercise. I did some running on Saturday, first time at the gym since Feb 21st. 3 times a week..that's all I'm asking from myself for now. Well, time for bed. Get ready for 5 days of fruits and veggies. XO.

Good day today. Better keep it up. I kinda broke my rule of only weighing myself on Friday and checked my weight this morning. I lost 2oz since Friday, so my normal-ish weekend of eating didn't set me back. Haazah!

I'm getting ridiculously anxious about my business school application. UGH I can't deal with waiting. I've started looking at apartments near the school, but I absolutely hate getting my hopes up and getting let down. 24 more days before the verdict. Just keep breathing and not eating.

Hope everything is well with all of you. Thanks for much for your comments, Sam! XO.

Progress is slow, but it's still progress. I'm down to 147 now. I'm a bit surprised that this weight isn't coming off faster. It's like I was in the 30's one second, then the next I'm pushing 150. I need to exercise more. I didn't go to the gym once this week. Granted I was stressed about my interview, which I had on Tuesday, but still. It went well btw. I just can't believe I have to wait until March 30th to hear if I got in or not. I want to be a solid 140/139 by then, so even if I didn't get in I can be happy about something.

I've been restricting very well during the week. Saturdays and Sundays have been rocky though, but it's only because I've been going go with friends, or going home over the weekends. Oxyelite Pro has really been great with curbing my appetite. I barely eat more than 200 calories once I come home from work, which is usually the time of the day that I freak out and stuff my face. I either have a piece of fruit, some dry cereal, or just some tea. I just think I restrict better if I'm not stressed out about going to the gym. Ugh, I'll figure it out. Baby steps, people.

X.O.

P.S. Is it weird that I primarily want to go back to school so that I can be surrounded by skinny bitches that make be feel awful about my body so that I'm more efficient at starving myself? Hmmm...food for thought.