Reflections

So I did successfully liquid fast all of the 31st, but when it was 12:30am today I had a mini new years party with my parents...Cristal, chicken cutlets, parfaits and dark chocolate covered pretzels were involved. Then later today we went to my Godmom's house for fried fish and hush puppies.

But it's OVER! The holiday season is over and I officially have no more excuses to make to eat disgusting amounts of food.

What have I learned it 2010? That I can weigh less than 145lbs, that I can not eat any food for a whole day and survive, that CVS brand magnesium citrate is a godsend, and that I can do this. Guys, I've NEVER been able to lose more than 5 pounds, I've been 150 something for as long as I can remember. I had only dipped down to 145 after a master cleanse diet for 3 days..and then I congratulated myself with food! I know I'm not as hardcore as other bloggers..I didn't weight myself everyday before this or strave myself for days, but I didn't cry to my parents about my weight, have become conscious of it and tried to lose weight since 3rd grade, and have attempted may diets throughout my life. I never eat something without immediately feeling bad about it afterward. I remember being yelled at by my 3rd grade teacher for doing leg exercises in class once on the floor while she was teaching. This past year has taught me that I can control my "addiction" for food and raise about it. I can finally be happy if I just stay focused.

I was 135.8 this morning, so I didn't make my goal. But I will make it by this Wednesday. I ordered some new diet pills (the older ones weren't doing anything), there are no more holiday parties, and I've discovered the wonders of coffee for suppressing my appetite. I will be at least 129 by 1/12. This goal is SUPER important to me b/c I will be seeing my friends and teachers and I want to look a lot thinner.

Also, lil secret, I'm thinking I'm changing my goal weight to 117. I feel like it'll make a big difference. I'm gonna change my ticker once I get into the 20s..so soon! Happy New Year everyone! And thanks so much for being supportive (esp. Thin_Envy)!