Monday, May 30, 2011

A Memorial to my poor tummy

It hurts. Well..the holiday. We had a BBQ, nuf said. It was mostly protein, but whatever it was still too much. I have to count it at 1,500 I think. I mean my Mom bought these hot dogs that literally looked like a money shot from a porn movie..HUGE! It was really awkward biting into it. But my fat ass did anyway. So had that hot dog, 10 grilled chicken wings, 1 cup baked beans, bit of pasta salad. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. It's like, so dare I look at myself in the mirror every morning and say "Well am I still so fucking fat?!" Because you eat like a grown ass man sometimes!!!

I try to calm down and realize that my eating habits are much better than more, I don't gorge myself anymore. And I haven't been binging at all. I think it was the stressful college atmosphere that made me binge and restrict and exercise like mad, losing 5lbs in 2 days, only to gain it back in 1 day. No bueno. Honestly, when I finally see my weight when I get back home, regardless of what it is, I'm going to restrict and exercise in a way that I only lose 3-5oz a day. I want this to be sustainable! When I move to Princeton in August and must be skinny. And when I start my job on August 29th, I will be 120lbs, AT LEAST. There's no excuse to not be that weight by that date. No excuse.

Just relax and do it, ladies. It may not happen overnight, but we'll get there. XO.


Mich, I'm on Martha's Vineyard! Yea I love it, really. But I need to get make to my own controlled environment. I know what you mean about your Mom talking about food the whole time...that's all we're doing here.

Zette, that's a good tip I've been hearing, the teeth brushing thing. Excellent dental hygiene and restricting power! Gonna start that...

1 comment:

  1. I can so relate to the college environment stress causing binging... now that I'm at home and it's been a LOT less stressful, I don't feel the urge to stuff my face with everything I see any more... congratulations to you for not binging and for improving your eating habits!!

    Don't sweat the BBQ, it might just jump start your metabolism! Hope you have a beautiful day, darling!!