My 22nd birthday is in 7 days. My undergrad college graduation is in 3 days.
This week has been full of senior fun, including 8 hour bar crawls, formals, etc. Lots of alcohol, fun and frolicking. But fat frolicking. I had my chance to be beautiful and thin for these moments. I blew it. I really haven't been eating a lot, but definitely more normal than usual. But the feelings of anxiety are still here. Good news is that I haven't been sneaking other people's food. It's really just that I'm not on any type of schedule. For the past 2 weeks, it's just been fun and randomness. I need a schedule!
This coming Tuesday I'm heading up to the Vineyard with my parents until Memorial Day to celebrate my birthday. I just want to run like 3 times a day there. I look down at my body sometimes and it's like wincing at a nasty wound. I'm looking flabbier, I haven't been hardcore exercising, just random lunges and squats in my room at night.
I've started diet pills, I now it's bad. But my appetite has been a lot weaker. I'm going to really commit to taking them starting on Tuesday, b/c I think I'm just drinking too much alcohol right now and I don't want to destroy my liver toooo much.
*sigh* Well I just wanted to check in and let you all know I'm still around. I'm so excited to start my new "life." I just signed the lease for my new apartment in Princeton, NJ. Sooo excited. My own everything! And I ordered a spin bike for my new place! I'm seriously going to use that thing whenever I'm bored or watching TV. Exercise...yes. LIFE...YES! I can't wait for become a whole new person. XO.