Monday, November 8, 2010

Just more motivated

Ate like there was no tomorrow today. Simply too much to mention, probs a pound worth of calories. But I'm just more determined now not to ever eat a full meal again. My stomach is so upset, it keeps yelling at me. Now gonna order some super-charged laxatives online to cleanse myself. I ate whole foods, but still it was just so unsettling. Also, upset about some guy that I was friends with since freshman year and we kinda had a mutual crush on each other, but over the past 2 years he's just pushed me away, for no apparent reason. Kinda stalked his facebook and got upset b/c I'm sure he's made out with our girls, especially since I think he's broke up with his girlfriend from back home over the summer. Just really makes me sad b/c the only reason I can think of that would make him no longer be interested in me is my weight. He's european and they kinda prefer skinnier girls. My reasons for weight loss aren't just b/c of him, but it's just another daily remainder of my need to improve myself completely. Just a bit down is all.

Tomorrow: 1 apple for breakfast, 1 cucumber for lunch, 1 apple for dinner. And lots of tea and water. Major focus tomorrow, no joking, not happy.

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