Saturday, November 13, 2010

thunder thunder thunder thighs

Got a loss of 0.8lbs after my liquid fast. I had 1.5 cup grapefruit juice w 2 cups water from 10am to 8pm. Then got home and had Campbell's soup-in-hand Chicken and Stars. Total of 215 calories. But mini noodles and bits of chicken aren't liquid, so oops. Perhaps that's why I didn't lose a full pounds. And maybe the sodium in the soup made me retain water. Either way, the liquid fast now can only revolve around juices, nectars and soy milk. No high sodium liquids.
Wonderful thing happened yesterday tho. I was so close to breaking my fast even more. After I had the soup and realized it wasn't all liquid, I considered just eating some more semi-solid food. I wanted to have a veggie burger and rice pudding, which are pretty soft foods. And if I ate those foods, my total calories for the day would have been equal to my last fasting day's calories, 395. I literally had the rice pudding and spoon in my hand and I was staring at the veggie burger in the freezer figuring out how to cook it. I kept deliberating over whether this was worth it for like 5 whole minutes. Totally waste of electricity, I know. And all of a sudden something inside me snapped and I slammed the freezer door, put the rice pudding back in the fridge and the spoon back in the cabinet. I literally ran upstairs and grabbed on to my water bottle for dear life. I also locked my door. Intense experience, but I escaped the evil food! The thing is I'm not hungry usually during the fasting, it's just that I'm so damn used to stuffing my fat self with food and I just get confused on fasting days and all I can think about is food. Hopefully with time I'll get over this obsession.
As I'm losing weight I can feel my tummy getting smaller and not sticking out as much. But my lower body is still hideous. All I want for space between my thighs. I love cute thinny lil legs! Why don't I have them? I will soon, I just need to believe, but I think that my thighs will be the last part of my body to change.
As for food today, I started out with a mini binge of peanuts and 1 mini oreo cookie, I think that was around 100 calories. Then I had a lunch of an open-faced veggie burger sandwich w/ goat cheese/sundried tomato spread, for 250 calories. So yummy. Quite satisfied now too. Going to have rice pudding for dessert, but I think I'll wait a bit b/c I'm not really hungry right now. Think I'm gonna pass on going to dinner with my housemates to the pizza place. I'm secretly really happy about that. I've got valid excuses. Will post later on how the day went. For now let's just hope Penn kicks Harvard's ass in football today!!

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