ugly

Burned 1,000 calories yesterday morning at the gym, did the treadmill and the cross ramp (like an elliptical w/o the arm handles). Still ate so so much that day and today. Kinda snapped today tho: was watching football with my dad and went into the kitchen to get a slice of fruit and nut bread that I really love, which my dad bought for me this morning. My mom was in the kitchen making lemon bars and watching clothes, and when she saw me opening the bag of bread she said "get out of that bread, sister." I was already in a bad mood b/c the Eagles were losing, and then she said that and I just took all the bread out of the bag and threw it in the garbage and walked away. I'm in my room now, and really hoping not to go back into the kitchen tonight. I really don't feel hungry at all! I'm actually really full and bloated, I just eat when I'm around my family. Just feeling really low right now b/c I'm watching TV and seeing all these pretty skinny people and its making me feel horrible. I love being home but I can't wait to get back to school so I can stop eating. Going back to 550 calorie days until I'm 130 pounds, I think I can get there before the end of the semester, in 17 days. I was losing more than 1 pound a day w/ the 550 cal plan. God I just want to be skinny and beautiful.