Pure Hate

God help me, I just want to break out of this body. Everything just feels so tight and I don't understand why! I'm sitting in the library and I can't concentrate on my work, just my fat self. I'm really close to crying, I hate public places. I feel like I'm bulging out of my clothes everywhere. It's only 2pm, but in hindsight I should have fasted today b/c I have nothing to do. But I've already had a protein shake (160) and 3 bran crackers (36). I think that'll be it for the day. I can't stand being in my own skin right now.

My friends what to go out to dinner on tomorrow at our fav Greek restaurant and I don't know if I can bring myself to go. It is my last semester here with them tho, and I really want to have fun and be social. But I CAN'T EAT THE PITA BREAD! If I decide to go I'm committed myself to only having 3 olives and hot peppers for appetizer (we usually get this big plate full of pita bread and greek spreads, grape leaves and olives and peppers. Pita bread is NOT low carb..it's pure carby evil! Then for dinner I'm just getting a greek salad with chicken, and I don't plan on finishing it.

In other news, I plan on staying strong and not going out to buy a new scale. It's just a waste of money b/c we have 3 scales at home now, including the one I left there. I'll be back home Feb. 5 for the Super Bowl, so I'll weigh myself that morning. The numbers don't even matter to me right now, it's all about how my damn clothes fit. And right now that's not so great. Also going to take my body measurements later today and recheck every Wednesday until I get home to see if I'm shrinking. If I keep everyday under 800 than I should shrink!

Hope y'all are doing well with your goals! Don't give in.

UPDATE:
Damn...740 today. Got a tall skinny caramel macchiato, totally forgot about my low carb thing, just focused on the low cal. So that was 100. I got home from the library at 9pm and had my sausage and broccoli rabe hoagie on my zero net carb hot dog roll. 320 cal. Then I had a grapefruit for dessert, again forgot about the low carb thingy. Really want my 100cal bag of popcorn, but I'm just gonna read blogs to calm myself down. It's funny how pajama pants make you feel skinny.