Thursday, April 14, 2011

Couldn't be more unhappy

I was 128.0 this morning, after 340 calories of liquids. I didn't eat a fucking thing. I could barely sleep too. I laid awake until 4:30am restless and starving. After a 80 calorie nonfat yogurt, 90 minutes of class and 700 calories worth of exercise, I was 127.4. I simply want to crawl into a hole and die. NOTHING is working out the way it's supposed to and I've never been more determined. I'm eating fruit and veggies today, I don't care. No more than 550 calories worth though. I'm also probably drinking a lot tonight. Hopefully I get so drunk that I throw up and I can get rid of a bunch of fluid and food. That's sick..but I want that to happen. Trying to stay positive. XO.


  1. Aaah, my love!! First of all, let me just say-- thank you so very much for your comment on my last depressed post, I'm so very thankful you took the time to write it... it really did help and I'm feeling much better now.

    To your post-- it really can be frustrating not to see the numbers going down when you feel like you're at the top of your determination (and at the lowest point of your calorie intake), BUT: the important thing now is not to lose hope-- you will soon see the results... sometimes it takes a couple of days for them to appear on the scale, but they will be be AMAZING, you'll see.

    Lots of love... stay strong, darling, you're amazing.

  2. Just wanted to lend my support.. stay strong and remember what makes you happy... not food.